Breathe Again
by jd4941
Summary: AU. Stef and Lena meet after a tragedy occurs. Can the two women help heal one another?
1. Chapter 1

**** A/N I do not own the Fosters nor any of the characters.**

Metal. That was Lena Adams' last memory. The sound of it as the two cars smacked into one another. The feel of it as it rose up and met her body that was slammed against it. The taste of it as her mouth filled with blood.

Instinctively she had thrown out her arms. One to shield her daughter Callie once she was aware that there was no way to avoid the collision. The other to shield her unborn child.

Their light had turned green and Raquel had driven forward. All of a sudden their car was illuminated by blinding lights. There had been no warning at all. The other car had come out of nowhere speeding like a demon was chasing it. Just the screams from Raquel and Callie as they were thrown around. Then the sickening thud as everything turned black.

Cocococococococco

Stefanie Foster hurried through the emergency room doors. She had gotten a call from a co-worker saying that Mike had been in an accident. She hadn't wanted to even go. Mike had just left her Mother's house an hour before. He had caused a huge scene and terrified Brandon. Stef had just barely gotten him calmed down when she got the call.

Eventually though, her sense of responsibility won out and she jumped into the car and headed to the hospital. He was Brandon's father after all. And they were still legally married.

Mike had come over to her Mother's beach home completely drunk. He and Stef had gotten into a huge argument. He was well aware that he was not allowed near Brandon under those conditions.

But Mike bellowed that he wanted his family back. He tried shoving his way inside and it took all of Stef's strength plus her Mother's pushing on the door to keep him locked out. She saw the fright on Brandon's face and ran over and picked him up as she yelled at Mike to go away. Finally, he had. Then, 45 minutes later, this call had come in.

She went up to the information desk but the nurse there was busy. While she was waiting she spotted Reggie, one of her co-workers on the police force. She ran over to him.

"What's going on?" she asked uncertainly not really sure she wanted to know.

Reggie shook his head at her, "It's bad Stef. There were two women and a kid in the car. One of the women is in surgery. She was pregnant Stef. The other one didn't make it."

Stef felt the air go out of her lungs. She felt like she was in the twilight zone. Her mouth dropped and she breathed out, "Oh my god!" She covered her mouth with her hands as if that would take back the exclamation. Her stomach turned and she clutched at it desperately willing herself to hold on.

"Stef! Stef!" Reggie shouted. He was holding her up. He guided her toward a chair where she collapsed. "He's fine Stef! Mike is fine!

Stef's head and stomach stopped spinning. "Then, what-?

"He was the driver that hit their car Stef." Reggie finished.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Just then Captain Roberts came out of the door that Reggie had been standing in. "Stef?" she looked at her two officers and sighed. "I see Reggie here called you already," she said while looking pointedly at Reggie who was trying his best to look anywhere else but at her.

Stef could do nothing but nod not trusting whatever would come out of her mouth.

"Well, you know the drill. Internal Affairs is going to question him first. No one is allowed to speak to him until after they're done. He barely has a scratch on him. But, the hospital is going to keep him overnight just in case. After that, he'll be transferred to the jail."

Again Stef could only nod.

"Would you like us to call someone to come and be with you?" Captain Roberts asked.

"No thanks Captain. Brandon and I are all he has," Stef said this without one ounce of joy. She still hoped this was all a bad dream that she could awake from.

"Well, sit tight. It's going to be a long night." Captain turned to go then turned back again, "I guess this excuses you from work tomorrow. But, I still expect you to show up the next day Foster."

Stef nodded and watched the Captain walk back into the room she had just left.

Reggie put his hand on her shoulder, "Are you sure you're okay, Stef? Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No Reg. Thanks. I'll be fine."

Reggie turned and followed the Captain into the hospital room.

Stef continued sitting in the waiting room. Her attention was seized by the sound of a child crying. Finally, she took notice of what it was that was keeping the nurse's behind the information desk busy. There, behind the desk, was a small child with unruly brown hair clutching a ladybug stuffed animal. She had wide, solemn brown eyes that had tears just pouring down. Stef saw the bruises, scrapes, and blood. Instantly she became filled with horror. She knew instinctively, this was the child who had been in the car.

Stef felt an odd combination of guilt, shame, and remorse. She knew it was irrational. Mike was a grown man and what he did wasn't her fault. But, still that did nothing to assuage her guilt.

She couldn't help but go over what had happened before she got that phone call. Maybe she should've insisted Mike leave his keys and take a cab. She knew that he was drunk. But, Mike had been drunk for the past few months. It's the reason she had taken Brandon and left.

Now, there sat an inconsolable little girl. Stef felt too ashamed to even look her in the eyes.

Stef sat staring at her feet, waiting for the courage to get up and walk over to her. When all of a sudden, in walked an elegant woman and a tall, kind looking man. The little girl saw them and ran to them. "Gram! My Mommies are hurt!" She managed to get out in between her sobbing.

The woman, who was obviously Gram, shushed her and rocked her back and forth. The man walked over to the desk presumably to get information. They were a striking couple. Their differences complimented one another. Their clothing looked casual but Stef wasn't fooled. It looked like it cost more than a year's worth of clothing for all of her family combined.

"I'm Stuart and this is my wife Dana Adams. Someone called about my daughter Lena."

The nurse checked the computer. "It looks like she's still in surgery. They had to do an emergency C-section. She was unconscious at the scene and hasn't woken up yet. We'll have to wait and see what happens after surgery. For now though, if you'd take a seat, I'll have the surgeon come and speak with you as soon as they're done."

Stef was a little startled as they walked her way. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding though when they walked past her and took seats on the other side of the wall from her.

"Can you tell Gram what happened baby?" The woman's voice had a soothing quality to it. She sounded like she was used to hearing confessions.

The little girl gave a couple of hiccups. Her Grandfather wiped her face with Kleenex that was kept nearby. "We were going home. And then the light turned green. And then the lights turned white. And then, my Mommy screamed. And then… and then… I don't remember," she broke down in another fit of tears.

Stef's stomach lurched again. Her heart broke for the family. She felt horrible listening in but, she also couldn't turn away.

The couple put their arms around one another and the child. "It's okay baby," her Gram said as she rocked her and patted her back. "Shhh…. Gram's got you."

A doctor appeared behind the information desk. Then, he walked over to the little family and held out his hand. "I'm Dr. Shakur. I just operated on your daughter."

The older gentleman stood up and shook his hand. "How is she Doctor?"

"She's stable. And she should be waking up momentarily. We had to do an emergency C-section. There was also some internal bleeding that we had to stitch up. Your grandson is a few weeks premature but remarkably in good condition. He's being given oxygen and we'll keep them both for a few days for observation. But, from the looks of it, they were both extremely lucky."

"Thank you Doctor. When can we see them?"

"The nurse will take you to see your grandson now. After that, you can visit with your daughter. She's being moved up to room 927. She should be there by the time you've met your new grandchild."

Captain Roberts walked out of Mike's ER room as the family walked away. "Stef, you can see him now."

Stef closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She wasn't sure she wanted to see him. But, she knew it had to be done. She stood up and followed the Captain.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lena awoke to a nurse and a blinding light. She screamed from pure terror thinking that they were still in the car crash. Her parents ran forward and held her.

"Lena! Lena! It's okay. We're here. You're in the hospital. We've got you." She heard her Mom's voice and reached out her arms trying to get to them. Suddenly, the lights dimmed and she was able to see clearly.

"Mom? Daddy?"

"Yes, baby. It's us. We're right here with you."

"OMG Callie! Raquel!"

"Lena honey, you're going to have to calm down." The nurse was already giving her a sedative in her IV. "Callie's fine. And you now have a beautiful little baby boy."

"Raqqqqq-," Lena slurred. Darkness started to overtake her. All she heard was the swoosh of machinery and then it was fade to black.

Cocococococococococococo

Stef entered Mike's room and wondered how this became her life. She took a deep breath and walked in.

Mike was handcuffed to a gurney. There was a cop standing guard over him. For some reason he looked happy to see her. Looking at him made her feel even more miserable.

"Stef. You came." His relief was palpable.

"Of course I came. Who else was going to?" She took inventory of their surroundings. He seemed to be in fine condition. Like the Captain said, he barely seemed to have a scrape on him as far as she could tell. "What did you do Mike?" She asked impatiently. She had already put together most of the pieces. She still needed to hear from him though.

"Stef," Mike shook his head. He seemed dehydrated and still not fully sober. Stef couldn't remember the last time she had seen him completely sober. "I had an accident. I can't really remember too well."

"It wasn't an accident Mike. You were driving drunk. After you came and made an ass of yourself at my Mom's house and scared Brandon half to death, might I add. You hit a car with two women and a small child. One of whom was pregnant." Stef didn't have the patience for Mike or his antics anymore. When did she become his everything? This was never what she wanted for her life. How did this happen?

Mike lowered his head and his breathing became labored. He swallowed a few times. Then he looked at Stef with agony in his eyes. "It was an accident Stef."

Stef crossed her arms around her and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "A woman is dead Mike!" Stef yelled. "And a little girl is crying hysterically covered in her blood and her Mommy's. She'll probably have nightmares for the rest of her life. She's the same age as Brandon." Stef's voice broke as she said this. She wiped her hand across her face. "I… I… I don't know what to do for you Mike. I don't even know where to begin."

"Well, obviously I need a lawyer Stef. I'm getting railroaded here. IA's up my ass acting like I've done something wrong. And I'm going to need bail money."

"I'll make some phone calls tomorrow. I can't promise anything. And as far as bail, what I have goes into taking care of your son. So, hopefully you have a stash somewhere. I'm sure your little hotrod is totaled now. There goes our money well wasted."

"There's money in the freezer at home. And there's some under the bed."

Stef nodded and started to turn to leave. She massaged the back of her neck underneath her hair. "Well, I don't think they're moving you until tomorrow so, I'll be in touch. Is there anything you need tonight? Maybe you should get something to eat and some water. You're also going to need painkillers for the hangover you've had for the past few months."

"Ha ha," Mike snorted. "I'll take the lawyer."

Stef turned and made it almost to the door before he called out, "Thanks for coming Stef. I know you didn't have to."

She nodded and kept walking.

She was about to go home but something stopped her. A curiosity pulled her onto the elevator. She rode it up to the 9th floor. She stepped out cautiously and didn't see any of the family about. Then, she went to door number 927. It was open. And it appeared empty.

Stef walked over to the bed. Even past the bruising and scrapes it was obvious this woman was beautiful. She looked like a model. She had long limbs and a halo of the same unruly hair that the little girl had framing her face. Stef resisted the urge to reach out and touch her.

Her eyes fluttered up and suddenly Stef was staring into these massive endless dark pools. Stef's heart stopped. She felt like they could see into her soul. "Raquel?" the woman croaked.

Stef pulled back. She hadn't expected her to wake up. "Umm, no. I'm sorry. I'm in the wrong room. Sorry." She turned and bolted out of the hospital.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The next time Lena awoke it was to shooting pain everywhere. She felt like she'd been run over. The pain caused her to moan aloud.

"Baby, I'm here." Her mother rushed over to her.

"Mom?" Lena felt like she was fighting her way through quicksand. Everything was fuzzy and painful. Even breathing in and out hurt.

"Shhh baby. You had an accident. You're in the hospital."

Lena's vision cleared and she was able to make out her Mother's face. "Mom?" Then she remembered the lights coming at them. "Callie! Raquel!"

"Callie's fine baby. Daddy took her home. They'll be back to see you after they've had more sleep."

"Raquel?" Lena asked desperately although she could already feel dread squeezing at her heart. Her insides were threatening to collapse.

Her mother poured her a glass of water. Lena's heart began thumping. She knew what was coming. Tears were already pouring down her eyes.

"Mama?"

Her Mom just looked at her with such a deep sorrow. Dana laid her hand on her arm as it seemed to be the safest place to make a connection. She wasn't really sure what all parts of Lena's body she was experiencing pain at. Judging from all the scrapes and bruises she figured it was everywhere. She shook her head sadly at Lena.

Lena began crying in earnest. She cried so hard she ended up gasping for breath. She felt the darkness rising up and pulling her in again. She gladly allowed it to swallow her up.

Cococococococococococo

Stef had dragged herself home after leaving the hospital thankful that her Mom and son were asleep. She had no idea what she was going to say to either of them. She fell onto the sofa and let herself sink down. She couldn't get those soul searing brown eyes out of her head. One set that had tears pouring out of them that broke Stef's heart. The other set full of pain and confusion not yet to be realized. Just that one look seemed to touch Stef deep inside. She wanted to wipe all memory of pain from both of them.

She couldn't even begin to process through what lied ahead for any of them. Thankfully sleep soon claimed her.

Cococococococoococococco

She awoke the next morning to Brandon watching cartoons at a volume she didn't even know the tv could get to. She grabbed the remote and turned it down immediately.

"Mommy! You're up!" Brandon launched himself at her.

"Oomph!" She grabbed him up and swung him from side to side kissing him. She pulled back and looked at her son. Tears came to her eyes as she held him closer and kissed him repeatedly.

"Mommy! I can't breathe!" Brandon struggled against her. Stef released him and he hopped off the sofa and went back to staring at his cartoons.

"Good afternoon sunshine. Welcome to the land of the living." Sharon said as she walked into the living room. She dropped a kiss on the top of Stef's head as she took a seat beside her. "How was it?" She spoke low so that Brandon wouldn't be disturbed by their conversation.

Sharon had been there when Stef got the call to come to the hospital. She knew something had happened but Stef hadn't had the time to fill her in yet.

Stef looked at her Mom and pursed her lips together. She would get to it in a few minutes. First, she really needed to hop into the shower.

She nodded her head toward Brandon, "I'll tell you after my shower. Maybe we can all go out to lunch," She said the rest of this loud enough for Brandon to hear.

That got his attention. "Exhilerama! Exhilerama!" he screamed raising his hands above his head.

It was an eatery with a play center inside. It was the perfect place for him to run around and get rid of energy. It would also allow her to talk to her Mom and fill her in on the gruesome details.

"Is that the way you ask permission, son?" Stef gave him a look of admonishment to remind him to mind his manners.

He lowered his head and his volume. "Sorry Mommy. Can we please go to Exhilerama? I really love that place and I really want to go."

Stef smiled and nodded. She gave him another kiss. "Let me shower and we can leave here in about 20 minutes.


	5. Chapter 5

Cocococococococococo

"Oh my god!" Sharon exclaimed after Stef told her about what was going on. "Those poor people!" Sharon covered her mouth with her hand. "I just… I can't even wrap my mind it." She dropped her hand to her chest. Mike had never been a favorite of hers. She had begged her daughter not to marry him. She would've even paid him off if she had to. But, Stef had her Father's stubbornness. She'd never admit that marrying him was a mistake. Not even when she asked if it was okay for her and Brandon to move in for a little while. Even now, after an entire year living with her Mom, she'd still never admit that it was over.

"What are you going to do?" Sharon stared wide eyed at her daughter.

They were sitting at a table inside the play center at Exhilerama. They could talk and keep an eye on a fully occupied Brandon at the same time.

Stef hated her Mom's drama queen antics. She blew out a breath and rolled her neck and shoulders. This day was already a nightmare. If she could crawl back in bed and pull the covers over her head she would.

"What can I do Mom?" Stef asked shaking her head. "We are still married." Stef ignored her Mother rolling her eyes at her. She knew her Mom was well meaning but she hated her Mom's judgments. They only served to make Stef even more determined to rebel. "And if I needed help, there's no question he would be there for me," Stef grimaced.

"He's going to need a lawyer." Stef sighed deeply. "I guess I'll have to start working on making those phone calls as soon as we get home. I was hoping you could keep Brandon busy so that I wouldn't be interrupted."

Sharon reached across the table and grabbed her hand. They were very physically affectionate people. "Of course, darling. That goes without saying. I just… I don't even have words." Sharon sat shaking her head lost in her thoughts.

Stef rubbed her hand across her forehead. She was getting a headache already. She told Brandon and her Mom goodbye and headed home. Her mom would keep Brandon at the play center for a while so Stef could do what she needed to. She just hoped she could get this part over with quickly.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lena heard a baby crying and followed it out of her dream. She opened her eyes in confusion. She was in bed, but this was not her room. Then she remembered that she was in the hospital.

She could still hear the baby crying though. She looked around in confusion and saw her mother holding her baby. She appeared to be feeding it a bottle. Lena's mouth dropped open in shock. This couldn't be the baby she as carrying?!

Her mother realized she was awake and looked over at her daughter. She held the baby up. "Your son," she said smiling.

Lena clutched at her stomach. She had been 8 months along when the accident happened. She didn't even know what day it was. Or for how long she'd been out. But, reconciling that the baby she had been carrying was now the one her Mother was holding in her arms felt too surreal.

Her mother brought the baby over to her bedside. She turned him so that Lena could get a good look at him. He had slightly wavy dark hair and dimples like hers. He had her brown eyes. He had her long limbs and fingers. He was beautiful!

She reached out her hand to feel him. Tears poured down her face from the groundswell of emotions that flew through her. Love, joy, happiness, and gratitude. All of these things were hers.

Oh my god! He was the most amazing thing in the world! He had survived. As soon as that thought went through her head she immediately pulled away from it. She couldn't deal with visions of the accident floating through her head right now. She still wasn't ready to process what all the accident had taken away from her. But, it had brought her a son. For that, she was grateful.

Her body was still racked with too much pain for her to hold him. She knew that she still had a lot of healing to do. But, my god, she couldn't tear her eyes away from him. She fell into sleep again with visions of her son in her head. Tears still drying on her face from the love and joy she felt inside.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

Cocococcocococcocococo

The beeping horn jerked Stef out of her reverie. She shook her head and went through the light. She had been lost in thought over the woman and little girl from Mike's accident. It was almost sickening to call it an accident when she remembered how broken the two of them had been. It seemed like it deserved more than such an insignificant word. A woman was dead for God's sakes.

Stef's first errand was to stop by the old apartment she and Mike had shared as a family. She walked in and was a little taken aback. Aside from the beer and alcohol bottles lying around, the place looked like she had left it. She wished she could recall good memories here, but for the life of her, except for Brandon, she couldn't. How could that be true of a place she'd lived in for 5 years?

It reminded her of her Father's house. After all of these years, he had still changed nothing. It was like walking into a time capsule. She had grown up in that house. It was the first home she had ever known. And even though her Mom had packed the both of them up and moved out when Stef was 16, it was still exactly the same. The stench of stale liquor in the air even gave it the same smell as her Father's home.

She shook herself and pushed the thoughts away. She came here to pick up money for Mike's bail and she really needed to get home and call those attorneys.

On her way through the living room though, she saw a vase that her Mother had given them. She set it aside to take with her when she left. But, as she walked through the place more, she found more things that she thought would be better off at her Mom's place. She grabbed some boxes and started to fill them. By the time she was done, she had 6 boxfuls worth of stuff she was taking with her. She didn't know when she and Mike were going to get back together, but she figured having them at her Mom's couldn't hurt anything.

She finally made her way into the bedroom and found a box with a few thousand dollars in it underneath the bed. Leave it to Mike to think a thief wouldn't check there. Next, she went to the fridge and found another couple of thousand dollars.

She sighed heavily. She was going to have to practically empty her bank account to bail Mike out. Her day just kept getting worse. She reminded herself that he would do the same for her. She squared her shoulders, loaded her car, and went on with her next task.

Stef got to the bank and emptied her savings. She then went over to a bail bondsman that she knew was good and paid him.

Finally, she was able to head home. She spent the rest of the afternoon calling attorneys for Mike. By the time she was done, she only felt defeated. Here she was playing the good wife again to Mike's screw ups. Except this wasn't a simple screw up. One person was dead and two others were shattered.

Stef had gone down the entire list of defense attorneys. They all had the same outlook. Mike was looking at 15 years for vehicular homicide with gross negligence. That was the best case scenario. It would be even worse if the DA wanted to add more charges on for a stiffer sentence. And with Mike being drunk, a dead woman, and one of the passengers being pregnant, they didn't see why a DA wouldn't.

Mike was a proud man. He'd never accept a deal. Stef thanked them all and wrote down their information for Mike. He could decide what he wanted to do about it himself later.

She hung up from the last attorney as her Mom and Brandon came in. She had forgotten that she'd volunteered to make dinner.

"Hey buddy! Have fun with Grandma?" she snuggled her little boy as he launched himself at her. She straightened up with him on her hip.

"Yeah Mom. Look, I won a prize! It's cause I did real good," He showed her his new matchbox car. He was so proud of himself. She didn't have the heart to tell him that at Exhilerama, every kid ended up with a prize.

"Wow, that's super awesome," She made eye contact with her Mom and the two exchanged a conspiratorial smile. "So, Mommy's going to start dinner. You wanna be my helper in the kitchen?"

"Yay!" Brandon cheered in her arms.

"Well, let's wash up and get to cookin'," Stef took him into the kitchen to see to getting dinner on the table.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

Cococococococococo

Stef had waited up even though she was exhausted because she knew that Mike would be calling her for a ride once he was released. Sure enough, at almost 1 in the morning, she got the call.

She picked him up and immediately regretted it. She should've just called a cab for him. Just looking at him made the horror of why he was there real. He jumped in the car smiling. She frowned back at him. He tried to kiss her and she moved away.

"Do us both a favor Mike and just don't say anything," Stef knew that her warning would fall on deaf ears. But any amount of silence from him would be a godsend.

Sure enough Mike being Mike couldn't help starting in. "You know Stef, I've had nothing but time to think in there. I think we're going about this the wrong way. I mean, having you here for me in a time like this… is just… I mean it just means everything to me. I think we should talk about you and Brandon moving back in again. I think as a team, we're stronger together. And the way we get our family back together is for us being together. Not separate."

Stef who had spent the past few days stressed out about this situation couldn't believe what she was hearing from him. Thankfully they were waiting at a stop sign or she would've ended up having an accident. Was he really for real?

She clenched the wheel and closed her eyes. She counted to 20 before trusting herself to speak again. "Mike, I'm here because you're Brandon's Father and you will be for the rest of his life. But, what part of you just killed someone is not getting through to you?"

Mike looked at her appalled. "Stef, that was an accident!"

"And accidents have consequences too!" She yelled at him. "I saw that little girl and that woman that you hit." She looked over at him and he paled. "You were speeding and driving drunk and you crashed into their car. And those people's lives have been devastated. And you want us to get back together? Are you serious?"

Mike averted his face and stared out the window the rest of the ride home. She prayed it would stay that way. But, of course, Mike is Mike. He looked back in after climbing out of the car.

"I'm sorry about what happened Stef. I can't even explain to you how deep it runs in me. And it will be there for the rest of my life. But, I don't see any other way for us to get through this unless it's together. We are a family. You, me, and Brandon. I just… I need to know that you're going to be here for me."

Stef was torn. He was her husband. Her Father had taught her to stand by her word. And that she should never turn from her responsibilities. She had made vows before God that she intended to keep. But, when she closed her eyes, all that she saw was the devastation on those faces.

She knew Mike was looking for some comfort. So she took pity on him. She gave him a small nod. "These are the attorney's I called. I wrote their notes along with their information down for you." She handed him the piece of paper.

Mike smiled and took it letting his hand linger on hers. He nodded and straightened. He closed the door and Stef watched him walk back into the apartment she had once called home. She drove home with tears pouring down her face. What had she done?

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lena woke up and this time was lucid. She immediately searched for her son and found him sleeping next to her mom in a crib. She tried getting up and found she could sit up if she took it slow. She was now clearheaded and that meant all the pain was coming back to her. She saw that she had a catheter which was great. She'd try and keep it in there as long as she could.

A nurse entering the room woke up her Mom. The nurse went through her charting and monitoring routine, asked if she needed anything, and told her she'd be back soon to help Lena out of bed. She told her she'd bring her a breast pump so that Lena could pump and dump. She gave her some more pain meds, showed Lena the call buttons and left the small family be.

Her Mom came over to her and dropped a kiss on her head. "How are you sweetheart?"

"I feel like I just got run over," Lena tried joking but as soon as she heard herself say the words, she immediately wanted to take them back. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I still have some pain but, I'm okay. How's my son?"

Dana smiled over at her newest grandchild over in his crib. "He's pretty amazing. Here, let me bring him closer." She pushed his crib over toward Lena's bed so that she could see him at all times. Lena picked up his hand and smiled as he latched onto her finger. "He's such a great baby. He barely cries."

"And Callie?" Lena asked not moving her gaze away from her son.

Dana stretched and popped her back. "She's with your sister Lisa. Your dad thought her being over there with them would help her. She's of course worried about you."

Lena nodded, "I'll call her in a minute." Lena finally looked over at her Mom. "Does she know about her Mom?" Lena asked quietly.

Dana shook her head. "We thought it would be best coming from her Mama." Lena's face clouded over but she willed the tears away.

Lena nodded. "How long have I been out? What day is it? Oh my god, I don't even know my own son's birthdate!"

"Calm down baby." Dana put her hands on Lena's shoulder trying to still her. It's Wednesday May 14th. You had your accident on Monday May 12th which is the baby's birthday. Now that you have that you might want to start working on a name for him. And here's his birth certificate application. You're going to need to fill that out too. But, not all right at this minute. Let's start slow." Dana smoothed back Lena's hair, "How are you?"

"Well, I hurt all over." Lena stared out the window next to her bed. She began to tear up, "I feel like this is all just a bad nightmare that I want to wake up from but can't. I loved her so much Mama," Lena choked out before she broke down in tears.

Dana put her arms around her daughter and rocked her. "I know baby. I know." Lena clutched at her Mother. Dana rocked and held her through the sobbing.

"I don't even know where to start to put my life together at." Lena finally got out once she had herself under control again.

Dana gave Lena some Kleenex. "You start right here. Just one thing at a time and then another. We're here and we're not going anywhere. You have your whole family behind you to help you. Now, I know you're worried about Callie. So let's start there. You call her while I order us up some lunch. Hmm." Dana held Lena's face and then kissed her. She handed Lena her cellphone while she picked up the landline in the room and called for some breakfast for them.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lena sat in her hospital bed with her laptop open before her. Her sister Lisa had gone by her house and picked up a few things for her. Lena sat staring at the picture of her, Callie, and Raquel. It was just taken this Christmas. Who knew it would be their last Christmas together?

Lena wiped the tears from her eyes. She couldn't believe she still had any left. She had been crying for the past couple of days. But she knew she had to do this. Raquel deserved this.

Lena positioned her fingers. What do you say about a person who was supposed to be your everything?

They had spent most of their lives together. She and Raquel had met in the 6th grade. Lena had hated her at first. But, by the following year, the two were inseparable. They had soon realized an attraction to one another and became childhood sweethearts.

After high school, they attended the same college until Lena had gotten discovered by a modeling agency. It was Raquel who encouraged her to take this chance and give it a go. They both took distance learning classes while Lena pursued modeling for a few years.

They spent the next few years traveling the world. Raquel had even proposed to her in France at the Eiffel tower during one of Lena's gigs.

Then, Lena caught the Mommy bug. By this time, they had both finished their degrees. Raquel supported Lena the entire time. And they both wept in the delivery room as Callie was born. They had both been filled with joy when their second try into parenthood took quickly.

They had only just been back in the states for a few months. They both found jobs that they loved. They were staying with Lena's parents until their house was ready. They had been headed back there from their house when this accident occurred. They were so happy. The three of them had been singing at the top of their lungs when their world went tumbling down.

Now Lena had to write a goodbye that she never saw coming to someone who was supposed to be with her forever. She gave herself a few more minutes before pulling herself together.

She took a deep steadying breath. She rolled her shoulders then straightened her back. Then, she wrote the last love letter she ever would to a woman who had been the center of her world for half her life.

Cococococococococo

Stef had spent the past few days diligently scouring the newspapers for information about the car crash. It wasn't until Sunday's edition ran that she found it buried in the obituaries. Her hands shook a little and she breathing quickened as she cleaned her reading glasses. She wanted to get a good look at it.

It listed the funeral and wake information. Stef was a little surprised that they lived so close. That address was less than 10 minutes away. Stef memorized the information. Then chastised herself for doing so. She went to toss the paper away from herself.

But, then her eyes fell upon the picture and she couldn't tear her eyes away. Stef was raised to believe that homophobia was sin. Her father drilled it in her. He had even sent her to a pray away the gay seminar just because she had been sharing a blanket with a friend while watching a movie. She never had a close female friend after that.

But, those women holding one another and the little girl between them just looked like a family. She saw no sin on them. They looked so happy together. Stef was mesmerized.

She read the obituary and tears fell down her face. The writing touched her deep within. It was the most moving eulogy she had ever seen. She looked across the room at a picture of her, Brandon, and Mike.

She took off her glasses and wiped her face. She didn't know why she was crying. She didn't know these people. Still she buried her head in her arms and sobbed like a baby.

Coco

The day of the funeral, Stef couldn't help herself. The obit had said that after the proceedings the family would have a brief repass at a house that was really close to her Mom's beach house.

Stef sat out in the car in front of the address of the repass. She had watched people flood in and out of the house. She sat in the car tormented. She ran her hands through her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like one of the aggrieved. Did she dare go inside? What would she say if she did? What if someone recognized her?

She sighed. She asked herself what the hell was she doing there? She chewed her lower lip and had just made the decision to drive home when the front door opened. She saw the woman who had been lying in the hospital bed. Stef stared. She was mesmerizing. But, the look on her face mirrored what Stef felt inside. It was a pain and anguish etched so deep she didn't know if either of them could be put back together again.

Stef wanted to comfort her. She searched around for something she could say. As she sat thinking, the door opened again and out came the little girl. She was the same age as Brandon only smaller. Stef's breath caught in her throat.

The little girl ran to her Mommy and jumped into her arms. The two rocked back and forth and cried. Then, the elegant woman that Stef had seen at the hospital and another tall, beautiful woman who looked like the first came out. They all embraced one another.

Stef couldn't take it anymore. She put the car in drive and took off but had to pull over again once she'd reached the stop sign on the corner. Her tears were coming so fast they were blinding her. Oh my God, she thought. She hadn't let it sink in that Mike had ripped apart a family until this moment. Seeing their grief and heartache was almost unbearable for her.

She stared at her wedding ring. How could she live with herself supporting a man who had done that. She knew it had been an accident. Mike would never hurt anyone on purpose. But, he had gotten behind the wheel drunk on purpose. That part couldn't be excused. They had started in the police academy together. He had seen the same horror stories she had seen with drunk drivers. She pulled off the ring and dropped it in her ashtray. She closed it up, wiped her face, and drove home.


	9. Chapter 9

**** A/N: Those familiar with my Broken Roads series will see a lot of the same elements being used in this story. That's because this story is a lighter version of that one. All of the angst in that one was really bumming me out. I still believe it's a great story and I still wanted to tell it. Just with a much shinier happy ending. **

**** A/N: Also, it hasn't come up yet but it soon will. Stef's maiden name is Foster and Mike's full name is Michael Daniel Nucci. Brandon's is Brandon Michael Nucci. I have no idea why they would give an Italian an American name on the show anyway although I know their pun is cute to them. I myself think it's pretty gross. Stef's always kept her maiden name at work so that she could be taken seriously as an officer in her own right instead of the wife of another one. **

**CHAPTER 9**

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The light streaming through the window had awakened Lena. Since it was June and Lena wasn't due to start work until July she had the entire month off to spend with her babies. They had all taken to bed without bothering with alarm clocks. Lena knew she'd probably pay for that once school was back in full swing but for now she didn't care.

It had been almost a month since the accident. Lena's body had healed but her heart was still torn. She was taking her mother's advice though and going at it day by day.

Her baby cooed and she got up to tend to him. "Hey Jude," she said laughing as she swept up her little man. She still got a kick out of the Beatles reference. Lena had been struggling to name him when one of the phones of the nurses who had looked after them in the hospital had gone off playing the song. Jude's face had lit up and he had kicked his little legs around. Lena knew it was kismet.

She quickly changed his diaper. Then, she climbed in bed with a still sleeping Callie and put him to her breast.

Callie had always been such a restless sleeper. And since the accident she had been having nightmares. So, Lena had been letting Callie and Jude sleep in her room since they moved into the new house. She knew she'd probably end up paying for that sometime down the line too but for now, she loved to be able to love on her babies. And she felt they really needed this time to bond and figure out what their new version of family was going to look like from here on out.

Jude gobbled noisily at his breakfast and Callie began to stir. Lena smiled over at her and tucked some stray hairs behind her ear. "Morning sleepyhead," she leaned over and kissed her.

Callie smiled and yawned. Then she noticed Jude with them and she leaned over and kissed him. She had proven to be quite the big sister. She was eager to help and quick to give him affection. Lena was thrilled her kids were learning to get along. She adjusted Jude and began to burp him.

"So, what do you think we should do today?" Lena asked as she cuddled Callie to her.

Callie played with Jude's fingers as she thought. She still got a kick out of his grasping reflex. She giggled delightedly. "Umm.. I think we should…. Umm….,"

Lena knew this could take all day so she decided to jump in. "How about the beach? We could pack a lunch and eat there. It's a really nice day for it."

"Yeah the beach." Callie began getting excited. "I can bring my new chair." Lena had overdid it with the beach equipment since finding out they were going to be living walking distance from one. She remembered that she also had to pack a lot of things for Jude.

"Hmm.. how about we call your cousins Jaleyn and Ethan? That way you'll have friends to play with." Callie cheered and Lena breathed a sigh of relief.

One of the enticing features of this house was that she had plenty of friends who lived in the neighborhood. There was Timothy, whom she had known since childhood and was like a brother to her. He had even helped her get the job as vice Principal of the neighboring charter school. And her friends Jenna and Kelly that she had known since high school. They had a son, Garrett, that was the same age as Callie. Plus her big sister Lisa lived just minutes away. Lena had always idolized her. Lisa had two kids. Jaleyn, who was Callie's age, and Ethan who was a few months older than Jude. Lisa was a doctor and on call a lot. But, she also had a live in nanny so even if she wasn't available, the nanny would be there to help out.

Lena made the calls to her sister and some of her other friends. That would keep Callie good and preoccupied. She made breakfast and set about planning the day. They would wait until after the kids afternoon naps and then meet up at the beach and have a bbq dinner there. Maybe even a bonfire. Lena and Callie spent the morning making plans and lists and getting things ready.

Lena laid down with Jude and Callie after their lunch. Callie required a daily nap in order to function properly. She was a terror when she missed one. Callie tried to fight this nap too but thought better of it if it meant she was going to miss the fun. They all fell into a comfortable and much needed slumber.

Cocococococococo

While Stef worked, Sharon took care of Brandon. He was such a sweet little boy and was rarely a problem. And Sharon treasured the time she spent with her grandson.

Sharon had raised Stef who had been a constant bundle of bouncing energy even when she was inside the womb. So, taking care of Brandon was a welcome change of pace in her advancing years.

Brandon was such a laid back boy Sharon couldn't believe he was even Stef's sometimes. The two were such opposites. Books, puzzles, games and tv could keep him occupied for days on end. Sharon did worry about his lack of friends though. Even when she took him out around other kids, Brandon was shy and had a difficult time making friends. Sharon had no idea where he got that from either. Both his parents were extroverts and so was she.

So when she saw a procession of people on the beach with small children and Brandon's excitement over the situation, Sharon dropped what she was doing. She suggested they go and see what was going on. She was thrilled when he agreed so excitedly. They got some beach gear together, changed into bathing suits, and went down to join them.

Brandon had run ahead but had gotten shy as they got closer and ran back over to Sharon. Sharon had never met a stranger. She grabbed his hand and walked over to the group and introduced herself.

"Hi. I'm Sharon. This is my grandson Brandon. He got a little excited seeing your kids and wanted to come and say hello."

The adults stepped forward and introduced themselves and the kids. Sharon was glad that everyone seemed friendly. They told her she was more than welcome to set her gear down there and join the party.

They spent the next few hours delighting in one another's company. The kids all played along really well which was great to watch. The adults had a good time laughing and chatting away. Sharon had been a little momentarily worried that Brandon would end up clinging to her instead of trying to make some much needed friends. But, Callie took care of that by organizing all of the boys who readily did whatever she told them to. Soon, Brandon had joined the pack and was running, laughing and playing with all the other kids.

"Brandon usually has a hard time making friends. I'm glad your daughter was able to get him to come out of shell."

"Callie's good at taking charge. Too good sometimes," Sharon and Lena laughed.

As it got later and everyone started discussing cooking fajitas and s'mores, Sharon shot Stef a text. _Everyone's down at the beach having a great time. Get sunscreen and a chair and come and meet us here for dinner._

Stef had just jumped into her SUV to head home when she got it. Hmm, she thought. A little sun would be nice. She replied back, _Yes ma'am_.

She got home, grabbed her gear, changed into a bathing suit and cover-up, and headed down the beach.

Xoxo coco xoxo coco

"Oh, shoot," Lena proclaimed. "I gotta go and grab a few things from my car. Would you mind holding Jude for a few minutes and keeping an eye out on Callie?"

"Not at all," Sharon answered reaching out for the little boy. "He's been such a good baby." She kissed his head.

"He's my miracle zen baby. He barely ever cries. We were in a car accident and I was thrilled he had survived. It was a miracle." Lena smiled at him and kissed the top of his head. "I'll be right back." Lena ran back to her car.

Stef got to the beach and walked over to her Mom. Brandon saw her as she was walking and he ran over and gave her a hug and kiss. "Mommy, I have friends!" he said excitedly.

"I see," Stef hadn't really paid attention to the kids he had been with. Her mind was on who all the other people were her Mom was sitting with. They all seemed extremely comfortable with one another. They were all talking and laughing as if they were old friends. "Well, why don't you go play while I talk to Grandma?" she kissed him and put him down so he could run back to his friends.

When she got to her Mom she noticed her holding a baby. "There something you want to tell me about Mom?"

"Stef! There you are! I was wondering when you'd get here. We're just about to call the kids in and eat."

"Who're your new friends?" Stef asked amusedly. Her mother was always making friends with everyone. She even chatted on the phone to telemarketers as if they had known one another all their lives. She even told them the latest gossip when these people probably didn't even know what state she lived in.

Sharon introduced her around to all of the adults while Stef put down her beach chair and got comfortable.

"And who's this?" Stef asked smiling at Jude and playing with his fingers.

"This handsome little fella is Jude. He's a flirt this one is. He's a really good baby. He barely cries." Sharon lowered her voice, "He's almost a little too laid back. I wonder if there's something in his formula." Stef rolled her eyes and Sharon kept going. "He's the son of the vice principal from that school you have that appointment to get Brandon into next month. She's a lovely woman. You could use this time to get yourself some brownie points," Sharon looked up behind Stef's head. "There's Mommy now. Her name's Lena Adams. Lena this is my daughter Stefanie."

Stef whipped her head around behind her as her breath caught in her throat. Even before her eyes landed on those unforgettable brown eyes Stef's body had already begun to react. Her heart began beating so fast she wondered if she was going to have a heart attack. Her mouth felt like cotton and her hands began to sweat.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you." Lena had her hands full so she couldn't shake but she nodded and smiled a friendly greeting at the newcomer. She emptied her hands and reached out for Jude. "Do you need me to take him?"

Sharon waved her away. "No, no. I never get a chance to hold a baby anymore. He's almost asleep anyway."

Stef could do nothing but stare at Lena as she fought to control her heart rate. Lena nor her Mom seemed to notice anything amiss so she guessed she covered her reaction well. She was even more beautiful than she had seemed lying in that bed. Stef prayed Lena couldn't remember. But, Stef knew she would never forget. "Excuse me?" when she realized Lena was talking to her.

Lena had her head cocked to the side, "I said, I'm sorry," she said with a little laugh. "But, your face seems really familiar. Do we know one another?"

"No, no. I don't think we've ever met. I have a really good memory. And being a cop, you learn to remember faces. I guess I just have a familiar face," Stef laughed the situation off.

Lena nodded and seemed to accept this answer. Timothy had finished with dinner and the kids were called over. Brandon grabbed the hand of some little girl and brought her over to his Mom.

"Mommy, this is Callie. She's my new best friend."

Again, Stef's heart practically beat out her chest. Callie just stood there staring at her. Stef pulled herself together and said, "Hi. I'm Stef. Pleasure to meet you." Callie continued staring and said nothing. Stef felt herself flushing and praying that the girl had been too upset to remember her. As the silence dragged on and Callie stood staring and not speaking, Stef became more flustered. She was glad when Lena called her over to eat. Callie still stood and stared for a while longer. She finally slowly turned and walked over to her Mother. But, she kept her eyes on Stef throughout the night.


	10. Chapter 10

**** A/N: That actually wasn't too bad. Aside from the the inbred vampire who just wanted attention, the one guy who was having a convo with himself that I can't even remember, and junie who thought that she had something to do w my note because of timing. This is actually an answer to a convo I've been having for the past week with another writer, I only got what, 7 negative comments. And for every one of those there were 2 sweet ones. Everyone else that was nasty that I didn't list, you weren't even memorable enough for me to do so. That chapter was up for less than 24 hrs. and got over 212 hits. I think the 7 nasty ones out of that were pretty good odds. I'd take them any day. And, a deal's a deal. As long as the chapter before gets over 200 reads then I will post a new chapter. Even though the chapter before it only got 152 reads which confuses me but oh well. So, here it is. And thanks for all the people who were sweet or used basic common sense.I'm great on having 212 hits per chapter in less than 24 hours! :D. And whoever said it was only 200? I said AT LEAST. the p.a.b. who got mad about me blocking her. Why would I not for that language?  
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**CHAPTER 10**

The rest of the evening went well. Everyone exchanged contact info and made some tentative plans for the upcoming days. Stef was even able to let her guard down and joke and laugh a bit.

As they got up to part ways, Sharon and Lena made plans to get the kids together tomorrow since they lived so close and Brandon had declared Callie his new best friend.

Brandon had told Callie goodbye and Sharon was doing the same with Lena. Callie just continued staring at Stef. Finally, she said, "My Mommy died."

Lena who had been speaking to Sharon looked over at her daughter and her face fell. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her entire body was filled with sorrow.

Stef's breath caught in her throat. She took a big gulp and looked at Callie. She bent down to her level and whispered, "I'm really sorry for your loss." Before she knew what she was doing, she had wrapped the little girl in a hug. Callie pulled away from her and stood closer to her Mom.

Lena and Sharon finished making plans and then each went in their own direction.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lena kept glancing at Callie in the backseat on the short ride home from the beach. She had been really shaken when Callie told the strange woman that her Mommy was dead. Lena hadn't been sure how to respond.

She knew she needed to speak with Callie more about the situation. Jude wasn't due for a feeding for a while so she instead chose to have Callie help her give him a bath. After that she and Callie took a shower together. They then jumped into bed. Lena fed Jude while Callie absently played with his hands.

"So, Callie, you know you can talk to Mama about anything. We don't keep secrets or tell lies right?" Lena paused to get a response. When Callie just nodded without saying anything more, she continued, "Was there something you wanted to talk about with Mama? Maybe something about Mommy?"

"No," was the only response she got.

"Are you sure?" Callie nodded her head and yawned. Lena could see her eyes getting heavy and her breathing started to deepen. Callie clutched at her stuffed lady bug. Lena decided to put it on the back burner for now. She leaned over and kissed her. "Goodnight my little bug."

Lena put Jude in his crib. Then laid herself down and went to sleep.

Coco

Brandon and Sharon chatted nonstop about their new friends while Stef felt as if every step she took was weighted down. She cursed Mike and did the best she could to hold back her tears. They got to the house and she asked her Mom if she would bathe Brandon because she needed a few minutes to herself. She hugged Brandon and smiled at him as he went inside with Sharon. Stef collapsed on one of the deck chairs and cried.

What was she going to do? Mike's actions just kept coming back to haunt them. She felt guilty and ashamed of Mike and now of herself.

She couldn't tell Lena the truth about who she was on a beach in front of everyone. But, she feared that Callie soon would. The girl hadn't taken her eyes off of Stef the entire evening.

And when she said her Mommy had died. Stef nearly collapsed on the spot. How do you say you're sorry for someone being taken away from you unnecessarily?

Sharon came out and said that Brandon was already asleep. "He barely made it to getting his head on the pillow," she laughed. "He plopped his head over and was just knocked out. We should've gotten him some friends before. I'm glad he's made some now. They were such nice people."

"What's wrong with you?" she asked Stef. She had noticed Stef acting reserved during the evening but had put it aside. Stef could never keep a secret. All Sharon had to do was ask her if she was lying after she told a whopper and Stef would immediately answer yes.

Stef looked over at her with tears streaming down her face. "Mom, that was them," she explained quietly.

"Them? Them who?"

"The ones that Mike hit." Sharon's eyes widened and Stef averted her face.

"Oh my God," was all Sharon had to say. She covered her mouth with her hand and lowered herself into a chair. "She told me that her wife had died recently. And that her son was a miracle baby who had been born in an accident but I never put it together." Sharon looked over at Stef, "She seemed to recognize you a little. I didn't know you had ever met."

Stef reddened. "I kinda snuck into her room at the hospital," she said with an impish look on her face. She shrugged her shoulders. "I just wanted to see what all had happened for myself. She was really out of it. She called me Raquel. I didn't think she'd remember. She didn't really seem to tonight. Just thought I looked familiar."

"Well, what are you going to tell her? You know she's the vice principal of that school Brandon's going to be going to. And oh my God, that little girl talking about her dead Mommy. Did she see you too?" Sharon slapped her hand against the side of her head and cradled it.

"She was there as soon as I got there. I'm not sure if she remembered or not. I guess we'll find out soon one way or the other. Didn't you two make plans to take the kids out tomorrow?"

Sharon turned to her with wide eyes. "Do you think we should cancel?"

Stef chewed on her lower lip and shook her head. She ran her hand across her thighs. "I don't see a point in bringing it up if they don't. And Brandon's so excited about finally having a friend." They had all been worried about him in that department. Everyone in the family was an extrovert. Making friends had never been a problem for any of them. Brandon though was quiet and shy. For him, social interactions were a struggle. It would be a shame to take his first friend away from him. "He was more taken with Callie than with the other kids."

"Anyway Mom," Stef rose and kissed her mother. "I'm exhausted. I'm going to turn in. Good night. Love you."

"Love you too honey." Sharon rose to follow her daughter. They each went to their rooms and tried to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

The next few weeks passed quickly and uneventfully. Lena and the kids had settled into a pretty good routine of dividing the day to include activities before and after Callie's naps. Jude was growing like a weed and was a delight to everyone he came into contact with.

Lena had just started back to work part-time as Vice Principal of Anchor Beach Charter School. One of the greatest perks was having an onsite daycare so she could drop in on her kids all day long. They were only there 3 days a week so Lena never felt guilty about dropping her kids off.

Sharon had gotten into a routine of hanging out with Lena, her family, and her friends. Brandon and Callie had become close friends. Stef was usually at work but, even when she wasn't, she tried avoiding them all as much as possible. If she knew her Mom had made plans where Lena spent time at their place, she made sure she had somewhere else to go or something else to do. The plan was going great until it came time to enroll Brandon into school.

The Anchor Beach Charter School was a really hard prestigious school to get into. Their waiting lists were years long and it had taken the past 4 years of trying for Stef to be able to get Brandon an appointment to an invitation of enrollment.

Stef really wanted Brandon to get into the school. They had everything there. The extracurriculars alone were enough of a draw for her. Brandon had been showing a musical inclination lately. He talked about playing on Lena's piano at her house. He had raved about a little tune that Timothy had taught him on there. He was now asking for a piano every chance he got. Stef couldn't remember when she'd seen him so excited about something.

And the campus was lovely. Just being given an appointment to apply was lucky. Plus, school was due to start in just a few weeks. She needed to have Brandon's plans solidified.

She had told Mike about the appointment but knew that he would forget. She purposely didn't bother to remind him.

The two of them hadn't been talking much anyway. Mike had been fired so they no longer worked together. He had his license suspended and a boot had been put on his car. He had thought that he would use her as a chauffeur but she very quickly dispelled him of that notion. She let him know that she had other priorities. Still, he would call her at least every other day. Stef screened her calls and would pawn the phone off onto Brandon as quickly as possible. When Brandon tried handing her the phone after talking to Mike, she'd tell him to let Mike know she was busy.

Stef got off work early the day of the appointment and ran home and changed. She even took extra care with makeup for some odd reason. She checked her appearance again and laughed at herself for being nervous. She had already met Lena and spent small amounts of time around her. This wasn't going to be any different. Or so she kept telling herself.

Stef might have avoided Lena and Callie physically as much as she could. But, she thought about nothing but them all of the time. She drank up every detail that Brandon and her Mom passed along to her. She'd know just from the small hint of perfume in the air that Lena had been there that day. She kept telling herself that it was because she was a cop. It was her job to know these things. And to know who her son was around.

But, lately Stef was beginning to get a really bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't yet ready to pull it out examine it. But, she knew it would change her life forever.

Stef grew more nervous the closer she got to the school. She happily agreed to wait outside until the Vice Principal could show her around. Stef was trying to steady her breathing when she heard that sweet soft voice she remembered.

"Stef?" Lena smiled over at her.

Stef got up quickly and blushed. She always forgot how beautiful she was. She had a tendency to take her breath away. Then Stef chastised herself. She had no idea why she was flustered. She told herself it was just nerves over the situation. "Lena, hi. Great to see you again."

Lena gave her a quick hug. Stef's breath stopped. "I know. It feels like you're avoiding us."

Stef gawked. Then stammered, "No, no, it's …" She took a breath to calm herself. "I've just been busy. You know, protect and serve." She had no idea what she was saying but hoped it would get the spotlight off of her.

"Well, since our kids have decided that they're best friends those two have been inseparable. I'm glad. Callie normally has trouble making friends."

Lena's hand on her arm was throwing Stef's mind off track. "Well, Brandon normally does also. I'm glad they found one another." Stef smiled at Lena.

Lena stepped forward. "So," she motioned onward with her hand smiling, "the tour."

coco

Stef left the tour and almost ran for her car. She was shaking all over. And her heart was pounding so hard. She felt more wired than after 5 cups of espresso. Being around Lena had been intoxicating. Stef had spent more of the tour staring than she had actually looking the place over.

Stef had noticed every little thing about Lena. She was still wearing her wedding ring. Every time Lena fell into a quiet pause Stef would look over and see her twirling it around. Stef could tell that Lena was still grieving deeply. She seemed to exude an aura of grief even when she smiled. It left Stef feeling she was covered in guilt from head to toe.

And then Lena had asked them around to dinner. It was quite an innocent invitation. Stef knew she shouldn't accept. That she needed to stay away from Lena. This woman who could make her heart do weird things. But, she greedily accepted. Because Stef was coming to realize that she craved being near Lena. And even though Stef had been a married woman for the last 5 years, she had never had feelings like this about anyone before.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Brandon jumped out of the car excitedly and raced to ring the doorbell. He was still at that age where ringing the doorbell gave him a thrill but also, he was going to hang out with his new best friend.

Lena barely opened the door before Brandon barreled his way inside. "Where's Callie?" he asked looking around.

"Well, hello to you too," Lena laughed.

Brandon got a hangdog look on his face and remembered his manners. "Hi Lena. Where's Callie?"

"She's upstairs in her room. You can go on up. But, please be quiet. I just got Jude down." The kids had been back and forth to one another's houses for the past few weeks and were already familiar and comfortable with the other's spaces.

Brandon started to go up then turned back and gave Lena a hug. She hugged him in return and he took off upstairs to find his best friend.

"Sorry about that. He just forgets his manners sometimes." Stef said nervously as Lena finally turned her full attention to her. She had a smile on her face. Stef thought it was enchanting. Stef took in her surroundings. She had never been to Lena's before but her Mom had told her it was a beautiful home. It was definitely better than she could ever afford on a cop's salary. "Sorry my Mom couldn't come. She had already made other plans. But, I got wine," Stef smiled as she waved the bottle around.

Sharon had pulled out from going right at the last minute. She'd suddenly remembered something else she had to do. Stef hadn't even wanted to come here at all. Being around Lena idled her brain.

She had obsessed over every last detail before coming here. She had stopped on the way home from work for a bottle of wine. She had spent more time than she cared to admit to figuring out what to wear. She finally just went with skinny jeans and a nice top.

Again Lena hugged her. "Come in." Lena led the way into the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

Stef's breath had caught in her throat from the contact with Lena. She must've regrouped quickly because Lena didn't seem to notice. She followed her into the kitchen. It smelled heavenly. "Mmmm. I love Mexican food. A girl after my own heart." Stef smiled at Lena, "Can I help you with anything?"

Lena was lifting the lid of a dutch oven and inspecting the contents. She smiled back over at Stef. "Nope. It's almost done. Just a few more minutes. Although, if you want to pour yourself a glass of wine that'd be fine." Lena handed Stef a corkscrew. She began warming tortillas as Stef poured them each a glass. "So, Stef tell me about yourself."

Stef was searching for something to say when a squawk from the baby monitor caught the women's attention. Lena frowned over in the direction of it sitting on the table. "Jude shouldn't be up. And he hardly ever cries. I guess the kids woke him."

Stef held up her hands and stopped Lena from walking away, "I got him."

Lena looked at her in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Stef smiled at her. "I'm the baby whisperer."

Stef made her way up the stairs and followed the crying. Jude was still so little his cries sounded like kitten mews. She smiled as memories of Brandon as a baby came flooding back to her. She entered the main bedroom where she found Jude thrashing in a bassinet. "Hey there, little man. What's all that racket for?" She picked him up and saw he needed a diaper. She took him to his changing table and changed his diaper. She babbled baby talk to him as she got him cleaned up. Then, she cuddled and rocked him until his eyes began drooping. She laid kisses on his head and put him back down.

She went back down to the kitchen and found Lena sitting on a stool staring off. She was working her wedding ring until it looked like it was going to leave a permanent ring tattooed there. "Lena?" Stef put her hand on her shoulder.

Lena looked over at her and tried to smile but Stef could see the pain in her eyes. She couldn't stand it anymore. She pulled Lena into her arms and held her. "What's wrong?"

Lena held onto shaking her. Stef just held her and stroked her hair.

Finally, the kids came down. "Mama?" Callie was frowning over at the two of them.

Lena pulled away and wiped at her face. "Dinner's ready, honey. Why don't you and Brandon go and wash up, hmm?"

After the kids walked away she looked over at Stef and gave an embarrassed laugh. "I'm sorry. It's just the way you were with him up there. Sometimes I miss her so much it hurts." Lena's broke voice as she said the last. She had tears in her eyes that Stef knew she was determined not to shed.

Stef had so many feelings running through her she could barely identify them. She pushed them away from her and focused on the woman before her. It was only about comforting her. Nothing more, she told herself.

"So, shall we?" Lena had gotten herself under control. The kids walked back in and they sat down to eat.

The rest of the night passed uneventful. They talked, laughed and shared over dinner. Anyone from the outside would've thought they were having a good time. But, Stef couldn't shake this feeling inside of her that she was trying hard to ignore.

Lena had looked at her oddly as they left. She leaned over and whispered so that only Stef could hear her as the kids were saying their goodbyes, "Are you okay? I didn't freak you out back there did I?"

"No, no. You were perfect. I mean dinner was perfect and everything was great. I'm just – I think I might be coming down with something," Stef managed to stammer.

Lena had her head cocked to the side with her lips pursed as she studied her. Finally, she just shrugged it off and gave Stef a hug. They said their goodbyes and Stef practically raced to the car. She leaned her head against the headrest as Brandon buckled himself in. She took a deep breath and looked over to where Lena was leaning in the doorway waiting for them to drive away. She waved that they were fine and put the car in reverse and took off.

But, on the drive back to her Mom's Stef still couldn't shake that strange feeling inside her. It wasn't until she had gotten Brandon to bed and turned in herself that she was finally able to examine it. For the first time in a long time, she was actually beginning to feel again. She shot up ramrod straight. Oh my God. It couldn't be. She wouldn't let it.

She shook her head as if it would release the thoughts flowing through her. She was a married to a man. She couldn't be falling for a woman.


	13. Chapter 13

** A/N: This will be the last timely update. Apparently me needing 200 readers in order to post another chapter was too low a bar. I was 5 chapters ahead of you all when I posted and now we're about even. You all blew through that lead pretty quickly. (No complaints. Thanks :D) From now on they might start to trickle. I will try and write everyday as much as my schedule allows though. Again, Thanks.

CHAPTER** 13**

Cococococococococo

Stef got up and took a sleep aid. It was one of those nights where it was succumb to meds or let her insomnia drag her under. And she did have work in the morning.

She topped the meds off with a cup of weak sleepytime tea with honey and milk added in. She went into the living room and watched the moon play over the ocean.

Once the realization that she was starting to have feelings for a woman manifested itself, so did all of the memories. Or as far as she was concerned the nightmares from the past.

Stef had had feelings for a girl before. In high school, she had been best friends with a girl named Tess Brown. Her Father had come home one day and seen the two sharing a blanket while watching a movie. After that he freaked. He threw Tess out of the house. He forbade Stef to ever see her again. He then sent her to a pray away the gay camp for 4 months.

The camp had been a nightmare. They were preached at 18 hours of the day about doing God's bidding and how homosexuality was a sin of the flesh. They were given strict orders on backbreaking chores that they were told would help them get closer to God. When they displeased the counselors they were sent to solitary reflection rooms for long periods with no food or water. They were told if they just stopped denying Jesus and admit they had a problem then they would be on the path of being cured and allowed to go back home.

Finally after months of pleading and begging she had been allowed to come home. Her mother had left her father and she moved the two of them into the beach house. They never talked about any of what had transpired before then.

Stef had wanted to be angry at her Father but she understood he had done what he thought was right as misguided as it was. They no longer had a close relationship but Stef wasn't prepared to not have him be a part of her life either. She felt what they had was better than nothing.

But, it was already too late for Stef. Stef had come home broken, hurt, and ashamed. She buried her feelings for women deep inside of her and told herself it was just a schoolgirl thing. She wasn't that way.

She graduated high school and went into the police academy at her father's urging. He was a police officer and it was a legacy thing. She had followed because at least it was some type of a plan. And she really did love to help people.

At the Academy she had met Mike. At first, he was just a pest. Then, he became her best friend. They were both extroverts and loved competing against one another. They pushed and eventually learned to support one another.

She had agreed to date him mostly because her Father kept asking when she was going to bring a man around. Mike was just meant to be her foil. Then, he confessed deep feelings for her. She really hadn't wanted to hear it. But, between him and her father constantly harassing her, she had finally given in. He was her best friend and she thought that was as good a basis as any for marriage. Plenty of people had less.

Unfortunately, that glamour wore off soon. He and her father were happy but Stef was miserable. Even having Brandon did little to lift her spirits.

She just looked over at Mike one day and didn't want to do it anymore. His drinking had made the decision even easier. So, she packed Brandon and herself up and moved in with her Mom. She hadn't really cared to look back since. But, she still hadn't gone to a lawyer nor talked to Mike about divorce yet. He definitely still wanted to be back together and if he knew she was thinking divorce there's no telling what he would do.

Thankfully, Stef's sleep aids began to kick in. She made her way back to bed and let the darkness take over. But, her last conscious thought was the same as her first one in the morning. Lena.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

Xoxo

Lena rocked Callie following her latest nightmare. It was always the same. The monster with the glowing eyes had come and taken her Mommy away. Now she was scared it was going to come back for the rest of them.

The accident had been months ago and they were all still healing. Lena had quickly gotten them into an established routine but that didn't stem the emotional tides within either of them. Callie had been having these nightmares off and on ever since. It was the reason Lena had transferred both kids into her bedroom.

Truth be told Lena battled nightmares of her own. And having her kids close to her helped her as well as them.

She was finally able to get Callie back down. She then had to take some sleep aids in order to try and get a few hours more of sleep. At least they suppressed dreaming. Thankfully, they were fast acting and she was able to fade to black.

Xoxo coco xoxo

Another weekend and Lena and the kids were on their way to another beach dinner party. For once, her sister Lisa actually had the weekend off. Lena had always tried to follow everything that her sister did. She was happy to be able to spend sometime with her.

Everyone Lena cared about was going to be there. Her parents, Timothy and his parents, her sister and her family, Jenna and her family, and now Sharon and her family. Lena loved that her circle of friends was expanding out.

They got to the beach and of course Sharon, Stef, and Brandon were already there. They lived there!

They got out and Brandon raced over to say hello to Callie. Stef walked over to help Lena carry Jude and their supplies up to the spot they had picked out for everyone. The two kids raced past her back over to where Sharon was.

"Well hello to you too!" Stef called after them laughing. She looked over at Lena. "Hi. How're ya?" Stef smiled at Lena.

Lena gave her a small hug and a smile. "I'm good. You?"

Lena's hugging was something that still took Stef's breath away. The fact that Stef could see a white bikini through her cover up didn't help matters either. Her body had certainly snapped back fast after the baby.

Stef had to take a breath in order to collect her thoughts. "Fine. Fine. I'm good. How's the little man?" she asked hoping to get the attention off of her. Stef reached in and started to pull his carrier out of the car. If there was anything she'd learned about Lena, it was that her kids were her number one priority. And she loved talking about them which was great for Stef because she loved watching and hearing her talk.

Sure enough Lena burst into a huge smile while she looked over at him. "He's amazing as always. I see he loves flirting with you shamelessly," she said laughing as she watched the two of them greet each other with smiles and baby talk back and forth.

Stef picked up the diaper bag and let Lena get the rest as she trudged over to their designated spot. She put the carrier down next to her chair and pulled him out of it and onto her lap. The two of them were still babbling to one another as Lena sat her and Callie's chairs next to one another.

"You're so good with him." Lena was leaning on her knees smiling at them. "Did you ever think of having another?"

"Oh my god, no," Stef said quickly. "I love my son but I'm also definitely done in that department. I can't wait for menopause."

Lena giggled. "I wouldn't rule out another one for me." Lena chewed on her lower lip. "Maybe if I met the right woman."

Lena was twirling around her wedding ring. Stef reached over and stopped her hands. Lena looked over at her in surprise.

Before either of them could say anything, Lisa and her family arrived. They were followed shortly by Jenna and her family and then Lena's parents along with Timothy's.

"Hey, hey, hey, the party's all here." Timothy said as he walked up with a cooler and his grill.

The kids were all playing in the sand. Everyone else was lounging and talking about nothing.

Lisa had planted herself a spot beside her little sister. She looked over at Stef holding Jude and Lena playing with his fingers. The two of them sure looked cozy. Lena offered to get everyone drinks and walked over to the cooler before getting stopped by her Mom on the way back.

Lisa watched as Stef's eyes followed Lena as she walked to the cooler. Then she looked down at Jude and gave him a kiss before moving her eyes back over to Lena. "So, Stef, I hear you're a police officer."

"Yes I am. I have been on the force for 6 years. I'm a legacy. My father was a police officer." Stef smiled and continued bouncing Jude on her knee.

"Lena abhors violence. But, I wouldn't mind if whoever hit them would end up in the cell with a muscle builder who hasn't seen a woman in years."

Stef turned red and looked down. Did she know? Stef had never taken Mike's name and Lena had never mentioned anything when she had enrolled Brandon for school. She told herself it was just random talk but the fact that her sister had hit pretty close to home brought all of Stef's guilt to the forefront.

Lisa had seen the flush but thought that there were different reasons for it. She opened her mouth but before she could speak Lena was back with the drinks.

"There's some pretty heavy clouds pulling in over there. As above, so below. I think we need to keep the kids out of the water." Lena observed pointing to the sky and water on her way back.

The women looked out over the water. Huge black clouds were rolling in. And the water below was starting to churn. They shouted a warning to the kids. The kids went back to building sandcastles farther inland. The adults went back to chatting.

"Don't worry." Stef piped up. "If they get any worse, we'll just have to turn this into an inside party."

The women chatted for a while more. They kept their eyes on the clouds and when the water began to pull closer into shore they decided to call it. They called in the kids, collected their things, and went down to Sharon's beach house.

Timothy set up the grill and began putting dinner together with Lena's Father Stuart and his Father Oz. The kids were allowed to play outside as long as they stayed close. The women lounged around on the deck.

Finally, Lisa got the chance to spend some alone time with her sister. "So, what's going on with the two of you?"

Lena looked at her confused, "The two of who?"

"You and Stef," she nodded her head to where the blonde was rocking Jude and cuddling with him. She was lightly stroking her finger across his head and humming to him.

Lena was a little affronted. "There is no me and Stef," she huffed. "My wife hasn't been gone long."

"She certainly looks like there's a two of you."

Lena rolled her eyes. "If you accuse everyone who holds Jude of there being a two of us, then I guess I'm being wild and loose through my baby." Lena was miffed. Where was her sister coming up with this stuff?

"What are you getting so upset about? It was a harmless question." Lisa's head was cocked to the side as she studied her sister. Lena's lips were drawn tight and she was working at her wedding ring. Her leg was bouncing up and down rapidly. She had a little flush in her cheeks showing that the question had her worked up. Lisa put her hand on Lena's arm and drew her close to her.

"And there's no shame if it is." She kissed her head. Then she wiped the tears that were silently falling down Lena's face. "We all know how much you loved Raquel. So did she. But, she is gone now. And she has been for a few months now. And moving on isn't cheating on her. You know if anything happened to her, she'd want you to continue to live your life. You don't have to be a grieving widow forever."

"I know that. But, I'm not ready," Lena said as she wiped at her face.

Lisa shrugged at Lena. "The heart wants what it wants. And sometimes, letting love in helps heal a breaking heart faster." She pulled her sister in for a big hug. "You're not dead yet." She kissed her and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "I love you."

"I love you too." The two hugged again. Lena looked over at Stef who was still playing with Jude. She chewed on her lower lip thinking over what Lisa had said.

She and Raquel had talked about this. Of course it was all meant to be conjecture. What would happen if the other one was left alone. Of course their kids would be taken care of first. But, they also wanted happiness for the other. They didn't want them to be a lonely grieving widow forever. They promised one another to celebrate the life and times they had together and not drown in sorrow over what was lost.

Stef was a beautiful woman. She had an athletic build. Her entire body was toned and firm. But, she had small graceful hands. That is if chubby hands could be called graceful. Still, the way she moved those hands were sometimes captivating.

Plus, she was quick-witted and funny. She was so smart. She loved playing it down for some confusing reason to Lena. Smart and beautiful were turn-ons for Lena.

Stef's wide hazel eyes met Lena's brown ones and she smiled. Lena smiled back and waved. Then she turned around. She looked down at her wedding ring. She wasn't ready yet.

"Anyway, Stef is straight. She's got a husband somewhere." Lena wasn't all caught up on the particulars but Sharon had said something about Stef not having filed for divorce yet.

"She doesn't seem too straight. She's checked you out a few times now." Lisa laughed at the shock on Lena's face. "Have you seen you? You could make any straight woman drool."

Lena ignored her sister. She walked over to Jenna and Kelly and struck up a conversation with them. All the while, working the things her sister had said to her in the back of her head.


End file.
